May 31, 2008

The Leaving Begins

I have started to check out.

It is 61 days until i pull out of the Arvada driveway and move my life to Seattle, and i have started to check out.

It isn't happening in every area of my life, but I can see myself making excuses and choosing to not fully participate in things going on around me.

At work, with my responsibilities, i can see that my heart isn't in it, and i struggle to remind myself of the value of what i do. I have moved on.

I have started to think that the next time i see people and friends here, may be the last time, before i move.

I'm hoping and planning that my plants will find good homes.

Bible study ended and i cried. Most of my new friendships there will not last the summer.

On the other hand, i have started to hang out more with friends from work. Game night, kickball games, Rockies and even watching a friends band. Somehow, in the leaving of a workplace, i feel more free to spend time with the people i hesitated to bond with before....

and then, when we all suddenly remember that I'm leaving in two months, i groan.

An inward and outward groan that means it is already painful.

1 comment:

Mayk said...

"All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another"