Oh Church

it has been a place of deep love and hurt for me.

it is people i am passionate about.

it is something that has been weaved in and out of history since Jesus was hanging around Galilee.

good. bad. faithful. irresponsible.

i'm taking a church history class, and i thought it was going to be my least favorite class.
BUT!
it's gonna be my favorite class this semester!
my professor is super straightforward and though i don't agree with everything she says, i like her.
and, i remember each week that i am passionate about this church of Jesus'.

i am passionate about him. his words, his love, his actions. jesus.
i am passionate about his prayer for unity for his folks.
i am passionate about his folks. for i am a person of grace.
show your love with action or speak nothing to me at all....and i am learning to grow beyond that place.

the little church in CO, that has been home to me for many years, has usually been a place of grace, which is probably why i settled there after many months of wandering around Denver.
and this little crew of people has also been growing and changing these many years.
some have come, some have gone.
a friend followed me into the bathroom one sunday when i lost it in the middle of a service.
a super persistent group made it out to visit me in GB. worms, Dakar and all, they encouraged me something mighty.
it has been a place of encouragement, support and fellowship.

and i also know that church gets mighty messy and mean. in and out of the church are those who have been deeply abused, misled and wrongly treated in the name of righteousness and truth. and it's not ok. i'll stand here today and say it's not ok. it shouldn't happen.

and it does. and i don't even know half of what goes on. the conversations. the decisions.

i'm not going say that i know the right way. i've been legalistic, judgemental and wrong. i wish it wasn't true, but it is.

today, i hurt with those that hurt.

i want to be a part of reconciliation, growth and forgiveness. unity. us being Christ to one another.

i guess that's what church means to me today.