I'll be leaving work late tonight, heading home to a quiet apartment. My sister is off training new families for work, and I think I'll have our apartment to myself. I just printed out a whole bunch of articles about missions and spirituality, and i just want to curl up under a blanket and read them, ponder life and get motivated.
I miss living in another culture. i miss my friends from GB. Foreign food and a language that doesn't always make sense in your head. I'm also really afraid that going overseas again could be permanently damaging to my heart. I'm sorta a softy and take almost everything personally. I cry at commercials and movie trailers on my good days and want to have good relationships with everyone. Working with people, in another culture, isn't always easy.
River Town is a book about a Peace Corp English teacher in China. I love his descriptions of his students and experiences in southwestern China. The blurbs from his students writing are classic and i admire the relationships he formed with locals. He left China not knowing if he would ever return to that place. It reminded me so much of leaving Africa. How can i ever know if I'll get back there? How can i not be sad, when cut off relationships and the unknown are the ending of the story? Something i lived and breathed is now like a whisper in my past. I could mourn it all night.
But i want to "get back out there." I would rather not end my overseas career as a lump in CO. I want to be a world changer....I want to be strong. I want to be courageous and fight. I wonder if I have it in me.
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