on my way home

on my way home today, i picked up a ten dollar lilac bush and some bulbs to plant in our yard.

and this was such a good thing for me.

maybe that seems obvious to you, but I've been in a funk the last couple of weeks (partly because of my birthday, i think) and getting to the nursery today was a success.

partly, because i just started meeting with a new counselor and it was good. i think i took one long breath during our whole session. just had lots to say. =)

and i was heard. and i'm thankful.
and i feel a little less crazy. and a little less lonely. and a little more courageous for tomorrow.

and going to the nursery today for me was about remembering that Sabbath's don't always have to occur on Sundays. that God is often found in places that don't have any walls. That gardening, and planting bulbs and lilac bushes are one way that i often experience God's peace, presence, care and refreshment.

AND the lilac bush was TEN DOLLARS!!!!  i asked the lady and she assured me that with the right planting, compost and watering, this sad looking bush (the last one she had) would be a content addition to our yard, come spring. and that is good news.

so even though i have barely been able to water or get myself out in our yard the last couple of weeks, I'm gearing up to get back out there in the next couple of days and weeks. 

winter is not easy for me. but one of the ways i can get through autumn and winter is by planting bulbs.
i received amazing bulbs for my birthday (thanks J and T&J!!!) and with the additional ones i bought today, I'm sorta excited to get garden geeked out and maybe graph paper plot out our yard/house/garden.  last year we planted all our bulbs on the sidewalk side of our fence. and almost all of them were picked. (We live on a street with a lot of pedestrians.)  now, I want to plant all of these new bulbs on our side of the fence. in the front where they will greet us every time we come home. in the back where we can see them out our kitchen window. yes! yes! yes!

plants take a lot of patience and attention. even after years of caring for houseplants, i still manage to over water and kill my plants. geez.  but, on my way home today, i need to remember that i take a lot of patience and care too. and sometimes i still feel like i have a lot to learn in caring for myself.  but space and quiet and rest and reading and gardening, these help. plus time with friends and loved ones (cause I'm such an extrovert too!)